I became an existentialist in high school. I didn’t know that’s what I was doing, just that I was caught up in what the point of being alive was. That question and similar ones (“Why are humans the way we are?” “Am I real?”) drove me for the next 20 years. Then, when I found myself in an existential crisis in my mid-30s, I sought a solution to my craving for a more meaningful life. I decided on therapeutic work. Lucky me, I lived in a city with an existential-phenomenological therapy program, and here I am.
Existential humanistic therapy is a type of depth psychology that invites you to explore the nature of your own humanity and reality. In this type of therapy, we dig into meaning, authenticity, anxiety, responsibility, agency, and isolation. The existential approach invites you to take an active role in how you live your life and create your own narrative about what happens to you, no matter the circumstances.
In a sea of treatments that involve telling you to think and behave differently, I ask you to instead examine what you are experiencing: the emotional, mental, and physical elements of your subjective reality. Rather than working to change thoughts and behaviors, we explore how you make sense of them.
As an existential therapist, I see your distress not as something to be soothed away, but as something that can give deeper insight into what you want and need from yourself and the world around you.
Key existential concepts for a more profound life
What common experiences cause us suffering? Apathy. A sense of emptiness. Worry, anxiety, and stress. Feeling trapped. Lacking direction. Isolation.
This is the stuff of existential psychotherapy. As we explore what you love, hate, are afraid of, wish you had, and believe most in, you will learn what it means to be authentic. Existential authenticity is the ongoing process of becoming the most you you can be, then having the courage to live with harmony between your inner and outer selves.
The more you understand your inner self (needs, wants, goals, values), the easier it becomes to decide what is most important to you. Rather than managing “symptoms,” I want to help you find out the whys of your life. What meaning do you want to bring to your existence?
Making such changes is possible because you have freedom. Freedom comes with responsibility, which comes with anxiety. But that’s okay. Existential anxiety will, if you let it, drive you forward. Existential freedom (which is always limited, but still available) makes it possible for you to shape yourself into a person you want to be and design a life you want to live.
What common experiences make our lives better? Joy. Meaning and purpose. Presence. Freedom and agency. Connection. This, also, is the stuff of existential psychotherapy.
What can existential therapy help with?
This approach to therapy is not for everyone, or for every expression of distress. Sometimes folks need therapy that will teach core regulation skills, or that work more directly with the body. But existential psychotherapy can be especially helpful for:
Persistent anxiety and depression that stems from feeling stuck, like life is meaningless, or that you just don’t know what you’re supposed to do with yourself.
Grief and loss that leads you to question everything and lose a sense of purpose and identity.
Identity exploration as you try to figure out who you really are beyond what society and others expect of you.
Trauma recovery by helping you rebuild self-narrative and personal meaning after difficult experiences.
Relationship issues rooted in isolation, enmeshment, or fear of being vulnerable with others.
Chronic illness or disability when you’re grappling with how to live meaningfully within limitations others don’t have.
Life transitions like career changes, relationship shifts, and big moves when you need a deeper look at your own desires and needs.
Goals of existential therapy
Existential therapy doesn’t aim to “fix” you, because you’re not broken. Instead, the goal is to help you live more fully in your own reality. And when you do, you might experience:
- A sense of purpose
- Being an agent in your story
- Stronger self trust
- An integrated sense of self after trauma
- Deeper connection with friends, partners, and community
- A more joyful, satisfying life
